


all that matters

by PorcelainCas



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Episode: s12e23 All Along the Watchtower, Fix-It of Sorts, M/M, Not Really Character Death, Post-Episode: s12e23 All Along the Watchtower, Speculation, Temporarily Unrequited Love, but not really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-21
Updated: 2017-05-21
Packaged: 2018-11-03 04:50:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10960026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PorcelainCas/pseuds/PorcelainCas
Summary: “Please,” Dean says, a broken sound that’s directed at whoever’s listening – whoever can help. Please please fix him. because dean doesnt think he can do this if cas is dead if hes really gone he“Dean?”





	all that matters

**Author's Note:**

> This show likes to hurt me.
> 
> A scenario similar to AU Cas speculation, but slightly different.

Cas’s hand is ice cold when Dean reaches out to touch his prone body, hoping that somehow, _somehow_ , that Cas is alive. He’s always comes back from something like this, _always_. “Cas,” Dean says, his voice coming out in a croak.

The angel’s body lays motionless, a shadow of burnt wings etched into the soil. In the previous times Cas died, Dean had never seen his wings on some surface, but he refuses now to give up hope because Cas can’t be dead. He just _can’t_ be. And the only reason Dean has is that there’s too many things left unsaid between them – too many things that _haven’t been fixed_ yet. Dean’s unspoken _I love you_ is still waiting for the right moment.

“Please,” Dean says, a broken sound that’s directed at whoever’s listening – whoever can help. Please please fix him. because dean doesnt think he can do this if cas is dead if hes really gone he  

“Dean?”

But Cas’s body doesn’t move, doesn’t _breathe_ , yet Cas’s voice clearly spoke his name. Dean stares down at Cas before he slowly turns around to where the source of the sound seems to be.

Cas – the same Cas that’s lying on the ground right now, is heading towards him, staring confusedly at Dean and his own body on the ground.

“Cas – you’re – you’re –”

“Alive? Yes,” he says grimly, coming to stand a foot from where his body – his Other body lies. “Lucifer knocked me out back there and I’ve only come into consciousness now. Where’s Sam?”

Dean barely even hears the words. He gets off his knees from the Other body, and embraces Cas hard, eliciting a surprised noise from the angel. He can’t say anything, can’t even think, and can only hold onto him tightly while he breathes deeply, attempting to shake off the shock from before.

“Dean,” Cas says, soft but demanding at the same time, arms coming up hesitantly to wrap around the other man’s body. “I – that form is possibly a creation by the Nephilim to fight Lucifer. It’s not me.”

He tries to say something to the angel – a joke about dying too many times maybe, but all that comes out is “Yeah”, heavily steeped in relief and breathlessness and the aftermaths of shock all rolled into one.

Cas is the one who breaks out of the embrace, pushing Dean off him firmly but kindly. “Dean, I need to go to the Nephilim. Now.” He looks up at the darkened windows of the house. “It’s calling for me.”

“Cas, no, wait – my mom and Lucifer – they’re stuck in alternate world,” Dean tells him desperately, hoping that he can offer _something_ to help them. And Dean himself isn’t quite recovered yet from the shock of seeing Other Cas’s death to jump back into the fray. His nerves are shaken and he feels weak and wants to sit down and hold tightly onto Cas and listen to the angel’s reassuring voice that he isn’t going anywhere.

Yet here he is, shaking his head at Dean. “I’m…sorry, Dean. But I have to go.”

He looks into Dean’s eyes almost imploringly, and Dean – he doesn’t know what to say – opens his mouth and closes it and gapes like a fish. Cas finally closes his eyes, tearing his look away and turning away from Dean and the body to run into the house without looking back.

Dean stares after the angel and then turns to look at the Other still lying there, dead. Dean doesn’t know what’s worse – thinking Cas was dead, or having him dismiss Dean outright. It stings like a bitch either way.

**Author's Note:**

> We see Cas putting the Nephilim over the Dean in the last few episodes this season, which he NEVER does for anything. There's probably some mind-control/manipulation going on here but I'm not sure whether or not I agree that it's mind control or whether Cas has true faith like other meta writers have suggested. Anyways, Cas here is still putting the Nephilim over the Winchesters/Dean. 
> 
> This idea was inspired by a meta writer offering another speculation that Cas was still passed out and Jack had created a Cas-shaped form to fill the void because Cas in those final moments didn't even react to Dean's calls as he was storming towards Luci. Can't find the post now, but here's my take on it if it happened.


End file.
